The River

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Can't stop the music

What’s up World’s Oldest Curmudgeon?

I’m not angry anymore. I’m not curmudgeony either.

You!? Not angry? You’re going to lose your brand identity!

Yes! I want and need to desperately. I’ve become this two-dimensional media creation, yah know, with my Atrios-endorsed Internet hit and my subsequent book and movie deals. It happens to anyone and anything that enters media discourse.

Anything? Even basic things like food and water and government and stuff?

Conservative Republican Bush, Liberal Democrat Dean, Saint Mother Teresa, Idaho Potatoes, Dasani.

What about art?

Avant Garde, Modernist, Post-Modern, Romantic, Nihilist, Found, Primitive.

OhhKaaaayyyy. But you’re not angry about any of that?

Sometimes you have to just let it go. Tremendous freedom in that.

Isn’t “freedom” just another 2D label?

I like you, kid. Interviewers have to be dumb, dumb, dumb, and you’ve got it down.

My heart’s in the right place, though. My subjects sense that intuitively.

You ain’t stupid, kid. I sense that about you.

But I am tired of this shit.

What shit?

Nothing. Catch phrase that’s already fallen off the radar.

Right! Good! I almost forgot. Heehee.

Mudge, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you chortle.

Freedom’s all about chortling, kid.

So you’re on a freedom kick?

Well, yeah. “The World’s Oldest Curmudgeon” was anything but. I finally realized that.

So what, or who, are you now?

Same as ever.

Well then, what are you up to these days?

Heh, heh. I’ve been waiting for you to ask. And this is about the right time, after you’ve established a little rapport and set the scene so to speak. Pop and rock musicians do that with their albums, they wait until the third cut to hit you with really good material.

Hmm. Yeah, I guess so. Where’d that come from?

I’m cutting an album.

Oh jeez. You’re kidding. I thought you’ve had it with the media circus.

Kid, kid, kid. There is a way out. It’s called rock-n-roll.

C’mon, mudge. It’s dead, like everything else.

I’m gonna start calling you “World’s Youngest” you ain’t careful.

I didn’t even know you had a band.

Yep. Like James McMurtry, we tour so we can make albums and we make albums so we can tour. So it’s kinda underground, do it yourself. You either get it and come out or you don’t.

So what do you sound like?

20 cats in a bag, over which I sing like a cow with its leg caught in the fence. But on a good night, people have seen the Psychedelic Furs, Stan Ridgeway, PJ Harvey, The 13th Floor Elevators, and Warren Zevon.


We do Carmelita. Oh yeah, and James McMurty, ‘cause we play We Can’t Make it Here Anymore. As a friend of mine said, “somebody finally said something.” But go see him if you get the chance. He’s doing what we do, only better.

Where do you play?

Bars, man! Where else? This is rock and roll! Oh, and the occasional cavernous industrial space with colorfully painted walls and art hanging everywhere.

So what’s the name of the band?


Yeah. We mean it, man. We got this logo on stickers, we slap it everywhere. You know when you’re at a Stupidity of Hubris show. And when you’ve left one, you know you’ve seen somethin. At least I hope so. I hope the stars shine a little more fiercely, the air tastes a bit sweeter, and the next day you call in sick and have a picnic with some loved ones, or prowl a bookstore or somethin.

Have you thought about offering those stickers for sale, as a bumper sticker?

Yes! And we have different versions, some of which are a spoof on the “Power of Pride” bumper stickers, which is what inspired our name. Check ‘em out:

Cool, those last couple should make the wingnuts blind with rage.

I just want 'em to go home and look up "hubris."

You know, Mudge. Others have had this idea.

Good! Remember, kid, freedom. Defending ownership sucks, take it from me. So...are they any good?

Well, there's

from slapnose. And..

From Irregular Goods

Not bad. But I still like my stickers, designed by my special friend, Baldassare Costiglione.

You guys are weird.

Yes indeed, youngster. As Bob Dylan said, may you staaaay-ay-ay, forever weird. Might have to add that one to the set list, give it the Psych Furs treatment. Play it loud.

Coming soon to a dive near you

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