The River

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Just between us dictators

U.S. Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld, left, is greeted by Zheng Shenxia, president of Academy of Military Science, upon arrival at the academy in Beijing Thursday, Oct. 20, 2005.

Hello, I'm one of the sickest motherfuckers on the planet.

Me too, me too.

Hoho. Piker. Get a load of this:

Abu Grahib? Been there, done that.

No, this, my budget, baby!

That is sick.


How do you do it?

What, 'n give you my secrets? Let's just say that officially, I'm all concerned about Defense Minister Cao Gangchuan's defense budget.


Officially. As in the officially sanctioned story is the one repeated, ad nauseum, by everybody. Doesn't matter if they're leftists or righties, academics or reporters, or whatever, they can never get past the official bullshit.

Oh yeah. Forgot. But what about the freethinking on the Internet?

Conspiracy theory. A few nutcases. Gulags. Scare 'em.

Always comes back to that, doesn't it?


But your control of the mass mind. Your techniques. It's so...sophisticated.



Nothing. Can you let go of my hand now? That's enough pics. Now about your military budget, how big is it, really? Do you have hidden trillions, like I do?

If that is true, it is truly frightening.

What can I say? I'm the best in the business.

We are but a developing nation, proud and resourceful. But our military-industrial complex can and will highjack our people's aspirations. And isn't that what you want to see, everywhere? Isn't that why you cozied up to Saddam Hussein?

That again? Ancient history. Only the Internet crazies give a damn. What they don't understand is we can build anyone up and tear anyone down. Look at Martha Stewart. I think she's on her second trip up right now. You will appear to our people how we want you to appear. And I am deeply concerned about your defense budget.

Cut it, Rummy. You don't rule the world. Or the world mind, just yet.

Sure, sure. A known unknown. But I know this: anything can be bought, sold, manipulated or disappeared.

Now we're speaking the same language. It's the same in any country, isn't it?

Yesir. Now about the unknown unknowns, what's up with your bioweapons program?

Insanely successful.

I knew it! Let's talk...