The River

Friday, August 22, 2008

The 3 a.m. phone call

I've been wondering what happend to Obama. The campaigner and his campaign don't seem as sharp and forceful as they once did.

Maybe Obama already got a 3 a.m. phone call:

Erghhhhh..uhmmm hello?

Listen kid, I got a little advice.

Here's how it's gonna play.

You had your moment on the world stage, and that was nice, for you and the people who came out. Rarely does anyone speak to human aspiration anymore. Unless it's about defeating "evil," but Democrats don't care about evil, because they are evil.

But that's not what I want to talk to you about. That's watercooler chit chat. What ya need to know is that this ain't your time. This is a time of upheaval and war, always. In one form or another. It will be some evil other's fault and we will fight that, because it must be defeated, etcettera, etcettera. The tin foil hats are on to us, but who cares? The way they imagine it and the way we do it are very different. I mean, shit, we're holding all the cards, right? Ain't nobody bluffing us.

No sir.

But you, my friend, I know you understand how things are. But ya think you can tinker here and there and we'll just smooth sail into something better. Smoother management of a less stupid war on terror, or some such. A new world order with 20 percent less destruction and collateral damage. That's yer change, right?

Well, yer misreadin the wind. We gotta have people down and defeated. Hope is no way to operate in the 21st century. Not if we can help it. And we can.

See if something were to arouse people's hopes and dreams, expand their horizons, even a little bit, it's a danger for us. People might start looking at alternatives to our way of doing things. That ain't good. That's cuttin in on our territory.

So here's what yer gonna do. Yer gonna get offa our territory for a week. Have a nice vacation in Hawaii. Maybe do some windsurfin.

While yer gone, there will be an event, an international crisis involvin Russia. September 11 and terror were for the 2004 election. And besides, the whole thing's lost its luster. It's just a quagmire now. No more big explosions or dictator hangings or air craft landings. So we're takin steps to make it go away. I gotta admit, you helped us realize real quick how that campaign ain't workin no more.

Eehneeeway. It's gonna be Russia, a country with real nuclear weapons. Yes sir. While you're on vacation, McCain will make his debut as the tough commander in chief, the one people will want in the oval office to stand up to the Russian bear. A war hero.

Then when you get back, we're gonna trivialize the crap out of this election. I mean, even more. You'll whine about our attacks, you'll mount your own attacks, but they'll just be attacks on our attacks, or replies to our attacks. We'll control the dialogue. Such as it is. Yeah, people will be tired of the whining, and they'll be tired of you telling them how bad things are, so that you can get elected to fix it. Malaise, that's your brand. You don't fix it (cause it won't be fixed), you identify it, and it identifies you. Doesn't matter that you're talking about the last 8 years of Republican leadership, it's still your brand, not ours.

Our formula is a winner.

So yer gonna take a fall, my friend. Get John Kerry to respond to the Corsi book. And give him your ear. Guy's an artist.

Talk to ya soon. Hello to your family.

Johnny is stepping in it so heavily that even his friends in the MSM can't bail him out of all of his gaffes. That, and the selection of Biden as a running mate, have made Johnny's task a whole lot harder.

They should muzzle his senile ass like they do Chimpy's. It's about the only way he won't blow it.
Yeah, they must have chosen McCain because they like a challenge.
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