The River

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

How the world works

You are walking down the street. Out of nowhere, somebody slaps you upside the head.

You react with anger. You forcefully tell the person he is behaving like an asshole. Over it and on your way, you decide that warning others about the jerk is the right thing to do.

You are denounced as a traitor to the community/country/ideals of the founders, your sanity is questioned, you are said to be emotionally unstable and blinded by hatred, your original and heated defense of your right not to be assaulted is recounted with large dollop of spin, half-truths and outright lies, if the economy dips, it will be your fault, and if slapping was committed (some dispute this), it was a small tap and completely reasonable under the circumstances, considering the threat you pose to everything the country stands for, in fact, you should be happy for the slap as it really should have been a coldcock with the elbow or a fist, what with all the commotion you created, causing several people to be late for work.

Eventually, Haliburton gets a huge no-bid, cost-plus contract from the government for detention centers. Studies are published showing the number of jobs created. Haliburton’s media arm hires the person who slapped you in the head as a talk radio personality. His brother enters politics.

A few people remember when walking down the street was a natural and pleasant activity, but considering what happened to you, the mysterious detention centers, and overwhelming support for random violence (polls and media reports back this up), most decide that perhaps its best not to mention it.

Comments:
This one is for Jane Fonda.
 
actually, I learned this early and often growing up :(
 
You never got to thinking the slapping was something it was okay to pass down the line, though, Bruce. A lot of the slapped people get with that program and keep it going, with a vicious insouciance.
 
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